Heart's Truth
by MangaMamma
Summary: Yohji meets a handsome stranger who helps him see the happiness of life again. But is the whole thing just a lie? Does this handsome man really exist? YohjixSchuldig
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

This story was inspired by the beautiful pictures of Yohji and Schuldig created by the very talented vitamine at DeviantArt. You should check out her stuff!

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 1**

Schuldig sat there, drink in hand at his old bar, trying to forget the danger his life was in. The latter kept him from over indulging in the former because he would need to be aware enough to keep up his mental barrier and project his false image into peoples' minds. _What better way to hide than in plain sight not looking like yourself_? He had changed his long hair from the eye-catching red to sleek black that barely hung past his ears and changed his German characteristics to that of the honey-skinned Japanese. But vanity wouldn't let him change his body's build or his green eyes.

He'd toned down his dress however, opting for simple black pants and a navy button down shirt which he left untucked. The air had turned chilly recently so a scarf and gloves lay piled on the bar next to him. He loved winter time. Everything became so clean and crisp. Suddenly he found himself wondering if he would live to see another winter. _Not if those bloodsucking vampires have anything to say about it, I'm sure_. He let out a bitter laugh and took another drink. His old life as a hired bodyguard/assassin was behind him, but no doubt closing in fast.

His team was no more. Farfarello was killed over a year ago, his obsession with god and all that's holy finally driving him insane. He'd become sloppy and was shot by a security guard on a mission. _Pathetic way to go for such a skilled killer_. Schuldig raised his glass in a silent salute and drank. Nagi had become so powerful that when he told Esset he'd had enough and wanted to leave, they didn't argue. And Crawford had been promoted within the organization and was now one of the people pulling the strings on the marionettes like Schuldig.

They'd tried sticking him with other teams, but he wanted no part of it. He was tired of the lifestyle. He was tired of doing what other people wanted. He wanted to call the shots for a change. So he left. He'd sent a resignation letter and within two days he had Esset tracking him down. The four men they sent to bring him back were pathetic. He just entered their weak minds and planted a scenario where Schuldig refused to go with them and blew his brains out.

But he knew Esset wouldn't be fooled so easily. Crawford would see right through it. But that was over six months ago and Schuldig had since then traveled to America, then on to New Zealand, and finally to Japan. He knew better than to return to Germany, but he couldn't resist stopping in Japan. He'd lived many happy years here and he thought he would visit it one more time before he disappeared for good.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Yohji slipped the key in the lock and entered the darkened apartment. He laid his keys on a side table and slipped his shoes off onto a mat on the opposite side then he proceeded into the space, silently navigating it perfectly, even in the darkness. He shrugged his jacket off, hanging it on a chair and moving on towards the kitchen. He reached into a cabinet and pulled out a small glass, placing it on the table. He proceeded to open the freezer and pull out a bottle, the light tinkling of sloshing liquid floating in the air as he poured a sloppy glass and set the bottle on the table. With a tired sigh he let his long, lean frame come to rest in a chair, slowly sinking into a comfortable slouched position. He stared at the glass for a few minutes before picking it up and quickly downing its contents.

"_Promise me….promise me you will never drink alone again. Please, Yohji?"_

The pleading words of his young friend echoed in his mind as he stared at the now empty glass.

"Sorry, chibi."

Yohji filled the glass two more times before returning the bottle to the freezer and moving on to other rooms of the apartment. He was enjoying the slow numb that was taking over his mind. That was the great thing about vodka. It snuck up on you and before you knew it, you were feeling no pain. And he definitely had pain he wanted to get rid of.

Mostly, he wanted to forget how lonely he was. For so many years he had not wanted for companionship of any type. There was Atsuka and Weiss and his whirlwind social life that offered him an endless supply of agreeable companions. But that's not what he wanted anymore. Atsuka…he had buried that ghost many years ago. And Weiss, well there was a whole new group of angst ridden young men for Omi to send on missions. Ran had disappeared. Ken moved to America to coach a women's soccer team. Omi of course was now Persia. And Yohji….he had turned back to what he did best. Gathering information. He had set up his own private investigation business thanks to Omi and it was thriving nicely.

He had plenty of positive things he could see in his life: he had a good steady income doing something that he was good at, enjoyed doing, and he didn't have to kill anyone to do it. He was healthy. Or as healthy as he was going to get anyway. He still smoked and he would probably have to say he drank more than what was considered normal. But he could still chase down a fleeing target while barely breaking a sweat. And he had a handful of select friends in which he could rely on and socialize with as a normal person.

That small list included Omi. Yohji and Omi had remained close friends even after he left Weiss. Not just because Yohji could use him for contacts for his business. He always had a soft spot for the youngest assassin and no matter how big and powerful he may get, Yohji would always feel protective of him.

Which was why he now felt the guilt starting to creep in and overtake the foggy effect of the vodka. He had promised Omi and tonight, for the first time in over two years, he had broken that promise. He remembered what prompted the promise. Yohji had been depressed and had started drinking heavily. It had gotten so bad he wouldn't even bother to drag himself to a bar. He would just sit at home and drink himself into a stupor. By shear dumb luck, Omi had stopped by one day to check on him, knowing he'd been on a downward spiral. When Omi arrived he found the door ajar and he walked in to find Yohji passed out on the floor. Further investigation had Omi calling an ambulance. Yohji had alcohol poisoning.

When Yohji woke up in the hospital, Omi was hovering over him as only the young mother hen could and Yohji had smiled. His first real smile in weeks. But Omi was having no part of it. Once he saw Yohji was awake and ok, he began a rant like nothing Yohji had ever heard from the generally genial and soft spoken man. He lay there, stunned, as Omi yelled, gestured and cursed his frustrations out at Yohji's behavior.

When Omi was finally done, his anger spent, he turned those big blue eyes to Yohji, and pleaded with him. He clasped Yohji's hand in his own and begged.

"Please, Yohji. I care about you and it's killing me to see you do this to yourself. Promise me….promise me you will never drink alone again. Please, Yohji?"

"O-ok, Omi. I promise. For you….anything."

"Good. Now let's talk about getting you back on your feet again. I was thinking about using you for some small intelligence gathering assignments."

"No, Omi. I'm not working for Weiss. I told you that when I left."

"Not for me. Kritiker gets requests from our clients all the time for small jobs. I'll refer them to you."

Yohji thought it was going to be a decision he would regret but he agreed to it anyway. And much to his surprise, he hadn't regretted it a day since. That had been almost two years ago. And now he found himself heading down the same path again. Only this time, he didn't have the hope of a new career. He already had a burgeoning business. He had nothing that could turn him from the dark path he was slowly heading down.

Yohji walked down the shadowy hallway and into his bedroom. His clothes seemed to just melt away from his body and by the time he reached the bed, he was clad in nothing but his boxers. He slipped between the cool sheets and shivered. Tomorrow he would confess to Omi. Maybe the younger man yelling at him would help. Or maybe it would serve to move him down the path faster. Either way was fine with him.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next day, Yohji managed to drag himself out of bed by 2 o'clock. He accomplished the simple tasks of showering, dressing and eating by 4 o'clock. And by 6 o'clock he was sitting in his favorite bar, shoring up his resolve to go see Omi. _He's going to be pissed._ Yohji took another swig from the beer bottle. _Maybe I shouldn't worry him. He's got enough on his plate without having to worry about me_.

Yohji let his eyes wander around the bar at the numerous patrons. He saw a few regulars who just nodded to him and he nodded in return. As his eyes followed the curve of the bar, he was unprepared for what he found. At the end of the bar, almost in the shadows, was a man. He had short jet black hair and golden skin. He had on a button down shirt that was open just enough to tempt. And Yohji found himself tempted into action.

He made his way to the end of the bar, his eyes never leaving the ebony-haired man and he stopped a respectful distance from the alluring stranger. He smiled and his voice dripped with honey as he spoke.

"May I buy you a drink?"

At first glance Schuldig didn't recognize the man offering him a drink. He just thought it was another bar patron hitting on him. There was no denying the guy was good-looking. He was tall, well built but not overly so. Broad shoulders and a solid chest, but lean. His clothes advertised his body well. They may not have been revealing, but they fit him perfectly, accentuating the positive.

The stranger had short blonde hair, a killer smile and the most captivating and dangerous green eyes he'd ever seen. Then it dawned on him. Those eyes….

Schuldig smiled and inclined his head in acceptance and the stranger motioned to the bartender who instantly produced a drink. He took a drink then turned his attention back to the man standing close by.

"Have a seat."

There was that smile again as the tall blonde claimed the barstool next to him. They sat there in silence for a few moments before Schuldig struck up a conversation.

"You're a local, yes?"

"Of the bar, yes." A self deprecating chuckle filled the air. "You?"

"Former local. How long have you been coming here?"

"About a year, I guess. How long have you been away?"

Schuldig turned to face the man sitting next to him. "Too long."

Knowing smiles and glittering eyes met in recognition. They'd both played these games for far too long and they were beyond the frivolous song and dance of the pick-up scene. They each knew what the other wanted and they each had their reasons for accepting the offer.

Schuldig held up his glass in a toast and the blonde reached out, clinking his bottle to the glass. The pair settled into a comfortable give-and-take, with the conversations being about nothing in particular until Schuldig picked up their original conversation topic again.

"So you're a local to the bar, but not the neighborhood?"

"Everyone needs a place where no one else can find them."

"I see. Who are you hiding from?"

"From anyone who wants a piece of me."

Schuldig was so tempted to reach into the man's mind and pull out the specific answer he wanted, but something held him back and he smiled to himself. _Maybe I'll try things the old fashioned way for once_.

"Popular guy, huh? Lucky you."

"Yeah, I'm real lucky."

Schuldig heard the bitterness in the voice and he knew the feeling. And then the thought of who wanted a piece of him spurred him into action and forced him to give up his evening's plans of playing with a kitten. He finished off his drink and reached into his wallet, laying out several bills on the counter and standing to face the blonde.

"Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I must say goodnight. Thanks for the drink and the conversation."

"Wait."

Schuldig found his bicep in the firm grasp of the blonde and when he turned to protest, he unexpectedly came lip to lip with his drinking companion. The kiss was chaste, sweet, tinted with liquor and cigarettes and it made his whole body tingle.

"What's your name?"

Schuldig hesitated. He didn't want to ruin the evening and he certainly didn't want to leave any traces of his presence in town. No, he would have to stay hidden. A soft smile curved his lips as he whispered his response.

"Sai."

"Stay with me, Sai."

"That's a bit forward. Especially since I don't even know your name."

"Yohji. Now stay with me."

Schuldig brought up a hand and let his fingers run through the short blonde locks.

"The crazy thing is I wish I could, Yohji. God help me, I wish I could. But I must go."

Schuldig leaned in and kissed Yohji. Soft lips met for a brief kiss before Schuldig backed away and headed out the door with a smile that was full of regret.

_To be continued…._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 2**

Yohji sat at the bar, smoking his cigarette, trying not to look at the door every time it opened. Ever since he'd met Sai here two weeks ago he'd been coming back almost every other day, hoping to run into the alluring ebony-haired man. There was something in those green eyes that held his curiosity.

For the first time in a long time, he was grateful not to have nosy teammates around to question his habits. If any of them knew he was coming to a bar on such a regular basis in the hopes of meeting some guy he barely knew, they'd enroll him in AA and then stick him in therapy.

He let out a bitter chuckle as he thought of his former teammates. That was only the second time in his life that he felt like he belonged somewhere. The first time was by Atsuka's side. And now he found himself wishing to be a part of something again.

_Sai. _

Yohji looked at his watch and noted the late hour. There was no way Sai would be showing up so close to closing time. _Time to go_. He drained his glass, paid his tab and headed out, trying to bolster his confidence enough to never come back to the bar. But he knew, deep down, that he would be back. After all, cats were known for their incurable curiosity.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Schuldig always knew when Yohji was at the bar. He could hear the man's thoughts as if he were sitting across from him and Yohji were telling him straight to his face. He tried not to intrude on his thoughts too much, listening in just enough to know that the former assassin was there, hoping to see him and questioning his own reasons.

He could relate to the man's confusion. He didn't know why he was drawn to Yohji either. He wasn't interested in the man professionally. Neither of them did what originally introduced them. From what he gathered about Yohji in the little research he'd done, the man had been set free from Weiss a few years ago and worked as a private investigator. And for his own part, Schuldig had quit Esset and had been looking over his shoulder ever since, moving from place to place, making sure to keep his whereabouts as invisible as possible.

Schuldig frowned as he realized he was willing to risk being discovered to see and talk with Yohji again. _But why?_ He took a deep breath before walking into the bar. _I guess there's only one way to find out…._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Is this seat taken?"

The corner of Yohji's mouth pulled up slightly and that was all he did to acknowledge the question for a few quiet seconds. He didn't turn towards the voice. He simply gestured towards the empty stool and kept his gaze on the rows of bottles in front of him. Years of experience had taught him how to keep his emotions hidden. And right now, just by looking at him, you wouldn't know how elated and nervous he was to see the man sitting next to him.

Sai motioned to the bartender and a drink quickly materialized in front of him. He took a sip and wondered how to proceed. He didn't want Yohji to know how happy he was to be sitting next to him again. So he waited for the former assassin to make the first move.

After several moments of silence, Yohji figured it was up to him to say something. He got the impression Sai was waiting for him to make a move. _So he's the strong, silent type, huh_?

"So what brings you here?"

Schuldig smirked and took another sip. He thought of all manner of response to Yohji's question but nothing seemed appropriate. _To hell with it. I'm too old to be playing these games. I'll just tell him the truth_.

"You." Yohji's eyebrows rose in surprise and he turned towards Sai who turned his head enough to give him a smile. "I thought you might be hungry."

"Are you asking me out, Sai?"

"I guess I am."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Halfway through dinner Yohji knew there was no way he was going to be able to let go of the young man sitting across from him. Not tonight anyway. He smiled as he watched Sai take a sip of wine. The conversation had been light, with nothing personal being shared between them, but it didn't seem to matter. The pair were completely comfortable with each other, even when neither had anything to say.

Schuldig returned the smile aimed at him, knowing they were probably both thinking the same thing. The only difference being that he was scared of how he was feeling right now, whereas Yohji seemed to be perfectly at ease.

When they reached Yohji's car, the lanky blonde leaned back against his car reaching out for Sai. He noticed that the man didn't object as he slipped his hands around his waist, pulling him to his body.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. Come back to my place."

He nuzzled Sai's ear and he felt him shiver within his arms. _He feels too warm to be cold so I must be doing something right_. Yohji smiled into the black hair.

Schuldig could feel his body react to Yohji on its own accord. _Why am I suddenly drawn to him? He never affected me like this in the past. What's changed_? He closed his eyes and let his forehead come to rest on Yohji's shoulder.

"M-my place is closer."

Yohji pulled away and pushed Sai back so he could look into his eyes. Deep green gazed back at him and Yohji felt a jolt in his chest. He leaned in and kissed Sai, the other man's hands sliding up his arms and around his neck. They remained there in a stolen moment, both wondering how scared they should be that they seemed powerless to stop their attraction to the other.

Suddenly a car drove past, honking its horn as its passengers yelled and waved, encouraging the pair.

"Guess that's our cue. Get in."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Yohji lay there, enjoying the feel of Sai's body on his, dreading the moment when the man would ask him to leave. He wasn't fooling himself. Dinner and great sex didn't mean he would be invited to stay for breakfast the next morning. He absently played with the ebony locks and stared up at the ceiling.

"Yohji?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you like French toast?"

Yohji smiled and kissed the top of Sai's head.

"Yes."

Sai moaned and snuggled in closer as Yohji closed his eyes and sighed in contentment before allowing himself to fall asleep.

Schuldig waited for Yohji to fall asleep before carefully reaching into the sleeping man's mind and ensuring the former assassin wouldn't wake up until Schuldig said so. He leaned up on his elbow and gazed down at the peaceful face, his fingertips ghosting over the slightly smiling lips. _Sorry, Yohji, but the last thing I need is for you to wake up and find **me** sleeping next to you_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Yohji woke up to the teasing aroma of breakfast. He stretched and groaned and eventually threw his legs out of the bed and stood up. He looked around at the bedroom to gain more insight into Sai. When they'd reached the apartment last night, he didn't have time to look around. _Not that I cared_. They'd barely turned on any lights. Sai guided Yohji to the bedroom and they remained there for the rest of the night.

The room didn't have much in the way of personality. A queen size bed, a chest of drawers and a fichus in the corner. The only thing that gave Yohji any clue to Sai's personality was the bed linens. They were very high quality. He'd guess a 600 thread count, probably Egyptian cotton. _He has expensive taste_.

Yohji found the bathroom attached to the bedroom and took a quick shower before heading out to the kitchen. There he found Sai flipping French toast and humming along to the radio. He looked over as Yohji entered the kitchen and smiled brightly.

"Good morning."

Yohji came up from behind and wrapped his arms around Sai's waist and kissed him on the cheek.

"Good morning. It smells wonderful."

"Tastes even better. The coffee is ready and if you like there's juice in the fridge. Help yourself."

"I already am."

Yohji kissed down Sai's neck and the cook tried to half-heartedly shake him off.

"Stop it. I'll burn myself."

"Then I'll kiss it and make it better."

Sai chuckled and shook his head.

"Incorrigible."

"Thank you."

Yohji let go and made his way to the coffee pot which already had two mugs sitting beside it. He stopped and considered the simple and unassuming picture. _Why does this feel so good? I don't even know this guy_. He poured himself a cup of steaming coffee and lifted it to his face, closing his eyes and inhaling the rich aroma. _It scares me how much I want this. But am I just kidding myself? How far can this actually go? _

The sound of someone clearing their throat broke Yohji's thoughts and he turned to see Sai sitting down at the table, a smile aimed up at him.

"Ready?"

Yohji returned the smile and approached the table.

"As I'll ever be."

_To be continued….._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 3**

The smooth, sultry sounds of jazz filled the air, along with the heavy scent of cigarette smoke and booze. The small club was dimly lit, including the stage where a quartet was currently playing. Yohji sat forward, his elbows on the table, chin in hands, with a lazy, contented smile on his face as his half-lidded eyes regarded the man next to him.

"Why do I suddenly feel like the canary about to be swallowed by the cat?" Yohji's smile widened. "That doesn't help."

Yohji chuckled and sat back as Schuldig took a drink of his whiskey. The jazz club had been Yohji's idea and Schuldig was pleasantly surprised. He'd had enough dealings with Yohji in the past to know he frequented dance clubs and if that's where they'd ended up tonight, so be it. He enjoyed dancing and had a feeling dancing with Yohji would be more than he could handle. But he was glad to find them in a quiet, dark jazz club where they could talk or just sit back and enjoy the music.

"I promise you'll be safe from my lecherous ways until I get you alone. Then all bets are off."

"Seems fair."

They sat there in silence again, listening to the music and giving each other playful glances, enticing the other to make the first move. Yohji wondered at how comfortable he was with Sai, like he'd known him for years. _It's so strange. I don't feel the need to impress him or play any games. I just want to be with him_.

The music ended and the band left the stage, taking a seat at the bar. Yohji took a drink of his beer and turned to face the dark haired man that was eyeing him with a knowing smile on his face.

"Don't you look smug."

"I know what you're going to say, that's all." Yohji quirked a questioning eyebrow and Schuldig's smile widened. "You want to know about me, am I correct?" Yohji sat back with a chuckle, his long legs stretching out under the small table with his feet peeking out the other end. "So ask."

"Alright. Let's see….how about we start with something simple. Where were you the past year? You said you left Japan for a year and just returned."

Schuldig's smile faltered and he quickly took a drink. "That's not what I call simple, but ok."

He took a deep breath before offering his story. He'd made sure to research and concoct a believable and traceable personal history. He wasn't an amateur and he knew that the former assassin and current private investigator wasn't either and would most likely check into whatever story he gave him.

"I was taking care of my mother. She was ill and I'm the only family she had left." He stared down at the glass clasped within his hands, memories of his real past haunting him. He _had_ taken care of his sick mother, but it was many years ago and he had been her only family. His father died when he was only fourteen and his younger sister had died before she reached the age of six. He could never forget watching his mother wither away, slowly, painfully, until finally she just lost the will to live.

Yohji noticed that Sai was speaking in the past tense about his mother and he frowned. He reached out and pulled one of Sai's hands free from his glass and held it tenderly, his thumb rubbing the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry, Sai. I didn't mean to bring up something so painful."

"No, it's ok." He offered the guilty looking blonde a half-hearted smile. "What better place than here to discuss one's tragedies? Besides…" Schuldig flipped his hand around and squeezed Yohji's hand within his own. "Strangely enough I don't mind telling you."

Yohji smiled at Sai's words. He felt the same way. _I would tell him anything he asked of me. But why? Is it his eyes? Is he somehow hypnotizing me without my knowledge? Or could it be something much scarier? Is it possible I could be….?_

"So let's make this a fair exchange. Tell me something, Yohji. Just what is it you do for a living?"

"Private investigator." He chuckled at the raised eyebrows. "Go ahead, say it."

"Say what?"

"Whatever's got those eyebrows raised."

"Well, it's just that….I don't know….I picture someone……seedier looking. And far less attractive."

Schuldig let go of Yohji's hand and took a drink, sparkling green eyes studying his companion over the rim of the glass.

"You've seen too many movies." Yohji lit a cigarette and sat back, exhaling smoke into the already smoke-heavy air. "Ok, your turn. What keeps you in Egyptian cotton sheets?"

Schuldig looked out at the small club, trying to hide his blush. It wasn't that he was surprised Yohji noticed a small detail like that, but rather it reminded him of their night together and he felt a warmth instantly spread through his whole body. _I still can't believe how he made me feel. I've never felt anything like that with anyone_. He cleared his throat and turned back to face Yohji who was just sitting back, that sly smile in place, and green eyes glittering even in the hazy, dimly lit club.

"The spoken word. I'm a translator."

"You're kidding. It pays that well?"

"Absolutely. Think about it for a moment. You're trusting someone to translate your thoughts and feelings for you. And many translator jobs are for high-ranking officials and dignitaries and the like. If you can find a job, it pays real well."

"So who are you working for now?"

"I'm employed by a company who contracts out translators to visiting clients or companies who want to communicate with visitors. Hell, we've even had tourists hire us just so they could get around better."

"What languages do you speak?"

Once again Schuldig didn't have to lie. German was his native language, and while working for Esset he learned English from Crawford, Japanese from Nagi and Latin and Italian from Farfarello. He never did figure out how or why the white-haired assassin knew Latin or Italian, but he was confident it had religious significance. He was passable in a few other languages, but he wouldn't say expert. The key to being an expert, in his mind, was accent and enunciation. Therefore, he could only say he was proficient in five languages.

"Japanese, German, English, Latin and Italian are my specialties."

"Wow."

Schuldig and Yohji sat in silence for awhile and the band took the stage again soon so they stayed and listened, making small talk and flirting. By the end of the final set they were sitting shoulder to shoulder with Schuldig resting his head on Yohji's shoulder as their clasped hands rested on Schuldig's thigh.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Schuldig couldn't help the smile on his face. He and Yohji were comfortably ensconced within Yohji's apartment, the pouring rain beating a steady rhythm against the window. They'd had plans to go out today but the rain had started the night before so they decided to just spend the day indoors.

It was a lazy day with movies, delivery pizza and the two curled up together on the sofa under a blanket. Currently Schuldig was sitting on the sofa with Yohji's head nestled in his lap while the rest of him was stretched out languorously down the length of the sofa. Schuldig ran his hands through the blonde locks and when he heard a telltale noise from his lover he chuckled.

"You're my spoiled little katzchen, aren't you?"

Schuldig felt Yohji's body stiffen slightly and he rolled over to look up at Schuldig, his expression showing a hardness and suspicion Schuldig hadn't seen since they faced off with their respective teams.

"Yohji? What's wrong?"

"Why did you call me that?"

"Huh?" Confused green eyes blinked down at Yohji. "I….you just remind me of a cat." Schuldig shrugged and tried to play it off, while inwardly he cursed himself. _Stupid! Why did I say that! I called him that all the time_! "You're lying in my lap, I'm petting your hair and you were just purring. I-I'm sorry, I won't do it again."

Yohji's eyes softened and he reached up, brushing warm fingertips across Schuldig's lips. "No, I'm sorry. You can….you can call me that if you like."

"Are you sure?"

Yohji smiled and rolled back to face the TV, snuggling back into Schuldig.

"Absolutely. But only if you promise to keep petting me."

Schuldig smiled and continued to stroke Yohji's hair, thankful the situation hadn't gone any further. But the incident plagued his mind for the rest of the night. He questioned his decision to get involved with Yohji over and over and every time he found himself finding an excuse to be with the man. As they lay in bed, Yohji's limbs wrapped around him possessively, Schuldig stared at the wall, unable to sleep. _I'm so selfish. It's one thing to put myself in danger, it's another to involve Yohji_. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to draw on the comforting presence of Yohji. _But I can't help myself. I……love him. _

_To be continued…._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

Did somebody ask for some angst? Get ready…

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 4**

Omi had noticed the change in his longtime friend and he was happy to see the man so content. It was like having the old Yohji of years ago back in his life.

"So are you going to tell me what has you so happy?"

Yohji smiled around his chopsticks at the man across from him. No matter how powerful he became, or how much his looks matured, he would always see the perky kid with baggy shorts and big blue eyes.

"Not 'what', but 'who'." He saw the eyes widen and chuckled. "I met someone."

"Really? That's wonderful, Yohji." Omi waited for Yohji to continue but the man just smiled and ate his food. "You know, playing mind games is bad for your digestion." The smile got bigger. "Being coy does not become you, Yohji." Omi clenched a fistful of napkin in his lap and kept his voice even and his smile friendly. "Why must you do this? Am I not your friend? Just tell me about this person so I can be happy for you." Yohji tilted his head and eyed his friend with a raised eyebrow. "Ok, fine. I take it all back. It's not bad for your digestion, I don't think you could look bad doing _anything_ and I'll be happy for you no matter what but I'd really like to know more about this person so I can run a background check."

Omi huffed and sat back in defeat, reaching out for a sip of his wine to calm his nerves. Nobody could get to him like Yohji. He had learned to meet and defend against Ran's steely glare and curt words, and there was no need to defend against Ken because well, he was Ken. But Yohji….he'd always had a soft spot for the lovable playboy.

They'd always teased Omi about being a mother hen to the group of assassins but in all honesty, through the years he'd let go of that persona. He had to in order to run Weiss and ultimately Kritiker. He still cared for his friends, but he didn't hesitate to send them out on missions that could prove to be their last. They all knew the risks.

But over the years Omi had come to realize that at some point, he'd developed a bit of a crush on the older man. It was juvenile really and he knew nothing would ever come of it, but there it was. So whenever Yohji played coy and flashed his smile and those damnable green eyes, he was a goner. Years of built up barriers and the calm, calculating persona of Persia melted away, leaving a fifteen-year old boy to defend himself against the great Kudoh Yohji. There was no contest.

"His name is Sai. I met him at a bar and we've been dating for about four months now."

Omi noticed Yohji's omission of Sai's last name. He sat forward again, resuming his meal. "What does he look like? What's his job?"

Yohji chuckled and sat back, reaching for his cigarettes until Omi shot him a deadly glare. He raised his hands in defeat.

"I don't need your permission to date him, Omi. You're not my father and I'm definitely old enough to make my own decisions."

"Spill it or I'll fly Ken in to harass it out of you."

"Fighting dirty? That's so unlike you." Omi smiled sweetly. "Anyway…..Sai is tall, dark and handsome. Literally. He comes off as kinda quiet, but when it's just the two of us, he's much more open. He grew up abroad but came back to attend university. He's been gone for the past year and now he's back."

Omi listened and watched closely as Yohji relayed the events of his fourth-month courtship with Sai. He saw how the green eyes danced when he spoke. With one exception.

"…..and I know this sounds crazy coming from me but I think…..well, being with Sai makes me happy and I don't want it to end."

"Does Sai feel the same way?"

Yohji caught the look in Omi's blue eyes. It was curious, calculating. He'd caught something in Yohji's story and he was fishing for answers. He looked out over the street, watching all the people walking and driving by, lost in the rhythm of the city.

"I don't know."

"It's ok, you know. Being scared is all part of falling in love."

Yohji smirked and turned back to face his lunch companion, finally seeing a glimpse of the man he'd become after all these years.

"Is that so? And who said I was falling in love?"

"I know you too well, Yohji. And I'm happy for you." The waitress arrived and cleared their dishes, and Omi waited until she was out of hearing range before speaking again. "Do you think there's a possibility of meeting this Sai person sometime soon?"

"Maybe. I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey there, Katzchen." Schuldig kissed Yohji hello and then backed up to allow the man into his apartment. "You're early, that's very convenient."

"Convenient? For what?"

"For me." Schuldig grabbed the collar of Yohji's jacket in his fists and pulled the man in with a rough yank and kissed him deeply. "I missed you."

"Prove it."

Twin lustful smiles met before being crushed as the two came together. It wasn't long before they were both panting and lying on the floor. Moments of such intense lust never last long, but the aftershocks remain as a pleasant reminder. And that's where the pair found themselves right now. In each other's arms, on the floor, letting the ripple-effect of their orgasms flow through their bodies.

"I think you proved your point."

Schuldig stared up at the ceiling, a contented smile on his face. As his fingers absently played with Yohji's hair, he realized with a certain sense of satisfaction that it was getting longer. He'd liked the former assassin's shoulder length locks and was a bit disappointed to see him with short hair.

"You're letting your hair grow out."

"I'm feeling like my old self again so I thought I'd look the part. Do you like it?"

Schuldig tugged on a piece of hair playfully. "What if I don't?"

"I'll cut it."

Schuldig leaned up on his elbows and looked down at Yohji in wonder. He suddenly realized just how deep he was getting and it alarmed him. _How did I let this happen? How could I have been so careless?_

"Babe? What's wrong?" Yohji reached up and brushed back the black bangs hanging down, wanting to look into the eyes of the man who suddenly seemed troubled.

"I…I don't want that kind of power over you."

Yohji frowned and sat up to face Sai. "What are you talking about? It's just my hair."

"No. It's not just your hair….is it?"

Yohji saw the fear in the deep green eyes and his heart felt like it was in a vise.

"I wasn't going to say anything yet, but….."

"Then please don't, Yohji."

"I'm in love with you, Sai."

Yohji blurted out his confession a few seconds after Schuldig made his plea. Yohji stared in wonder at the man next to him that somehow felt miles away despite his close proximity. _What happened here? Weren't we just happy together, calling out each other's name in a moment of passion_?

He turned away from Sai and looked around the room that had clothes strewn everywhere. _No, this wasn't love that just happened. It was pure lust. Did I misread the situation that badly?_

Yohji got up and started to get dressed, looking for his discarded clothes while making sure to avoid eye contact with the man still sitting on the floor.

"Yohji….."

"No, I understand, it's ok. I'll just…..I'll see you later."

Yohji shrugged his jacket on and headed out the door. Schuldig turned, his mouth open to call Yohji back, tell him not to go, that he felt the same way, but no sound came out. _This is for the best. I was fooling myself to think this could last. I've put both of us in danger by staying here for so long_.

_To be continued…._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 5**

Yohji stared at the bottle in his hand, barely aware of his surroundings. The past two weeks had become a blur. When he left Sai's apartment, he'd gone straight home and gotten so drunk it took him a full day's recovery. But that didn't stop him from drinking the next day. Or the next. Or the next. As a matter of fact, Yohji wasn't sure if he'd put anything in his body that wasn't alcoholic or laced with nicotine. He vaguely recalled someone giving him a sandwich, but he couldn't be certain.

Knowing he couldn't stay at his apartment the whole time, he'd gone to his office during one of his semi-sober moments and made a few calls, rescheduling appointments and such. Then he'd found a bar in a neighborhood that he hoped no one would consider checking. "No one" being a certain head of a certain covert organization of assassins. _Damn that kid has a talent for knowing when I'm like this though. I wonder if he's psychic and just hasn't told me?_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It was taking Schuldig longer to find Yohji than he had anticipated. He hadn't come back to the bar, and much to his worry and fear, he wasn't spending a lot of time at his apartment or his office. He knew Yohji was visiting these places because he could see things had been moved around. But he couldn't pin the man down.

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Yohji left his apartment after confessing his love. Schuldig let him go, thinking he was doing the right thing for both of them. After all, he was still watching his back for Esset and it wouldn't be fair to drag Yohji into his messed up life.

But all his righteous reasoning was overpowered by his need to be with Yohji. He was physically hurting from the separation. He couldn't sleep or eat. He needed Yohji.

_I have to find him. I'm falling apart._

Schuldig was wandering through the lively streets of the city, the nightlife in full swing. He walked with his head down, not knowing where he was going and only looking up to cross streets. He was reaching out with his mind, just in case Yohji would be around here, but he'd lost hope. He was doing it more to keep from feeling lonely at this point.

_**He looks too much like him.**_

Schuldig's head came up and he looked around, scanning the people walking by. _I swear that was his voice._

_**Why did he let me go?**_

He picked up his pace as he headed in the direction he sensed the anguished thoughts.

_**I have to get out of here. Maybe I'll just go away for awhile.**_

Schuldig was in a full run now, pushing people aside as he closed in on the voice in his head. As he prayed that he wouldn't be too late he saw a figure emerge from a bar, sandy blonde hair tied back, leather jacket, sunglasses and a cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Yohji! Don't go!"

Yohji turned at the sound of the voice and he saw Sai come to a stop just a few feet from the entrance, chest heaving.

"Sai. What are you doing here?"

"I've….been looking…for you." Schuldig took a few moments to get his breathing back to normal then he stepped in closer and lowered his voice. "I need to tell you something. Can we go someplace and talk?"

"No. Tell me what you have to say right here."

Two sets of green eyes faced off in determined stares. Normally, Schuldig would be more than willing to go toe-to-toe in a test of wills, but this mess was his fault to begin with so he deferred to Yohji's request.

"Fine. I was a coward. When you said you were falling in love with me I should have told you the truth right then and there."

"Which is?"

"I love you, Yohji. I can't stand being away from you. I-it feels like I can't breathe. I'm sorry I was so stupid and I know I hurt you…." Schuldig reached out and clasped Yohji's hand within his own. "….I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Anything?" Yohji pulled his hand out of Schuldig's grasp and turned his back to the man. "Let me think about it."

Yohji didn't look back to see Sai's reaction. He just kept walking and disappeared down the first safe-looking alley he could find and waited. He was confident he managed to present a calm and indifferent posture on the outside even though his heart was pounding within his chest.

Schuldig just stood there for several moments. He was fighting every instinct he had to run after Yohji and beg him to choose anything but this. Anything but being separated from him. He would submit to torture of any kind as long as he could be with Yohji.

"Hey there, handsome. Want to join me in the club?"

The slurred voice and the stench of alcohol brought Schuldig back to reality and he just walked away. He eventually got tired of holding his body up and hailed a cab for home.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Schuldig made his way up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. He was so despondent that he didn't notice the figure leaning against the wall a few doors down, smoking a cigarette.

"So I've thought about what you said."

Schuldig's head whipped around to see Yohji approaching him, his face betraying none of his thoughts. But his eyes…his eyes were glistening, holding all of Schuldig's hope within them.

"And I have a question. Why were you scared?"

Yohji stopped within a foot of Schuldig and green eyes bore into him. He couldn't hold the gaze so he looked to the side, his cheeks warm from the scrutiny. He hated to lie to Yohji about his true reason for being scared, but he had no choice. He spoke the truth when he said he was willing to do anything to get Yohji back.

"I was….shocked by what you said. No one has ever said that to me before. I was scared that if I said it too….maybe I didn't hear you right, or maybe it was just a cruel dream."

Yohji guided Schuldig to face him and his fingertips brushed a rosy, warm cheek. He allowed a small smile to show before he reached in and kissed Schuldig tenderly.

"I am real, Sai. And I do love you."

"Yohji…"

"Shhh…." A whisper of a kiss between them and Yohji spoke again. "So are you still willing to do anything I ask, Sai?" Schuldig nodded his head. "Good. Because the only way I will take you back is if you promise to love me until I tell you to stop."

He swallowed hard as he gazed into the mesmerizing green eyes that had captured him the first night they met at the bar. He had no choice. He was at the mercy of his heart which he had unknowingly given to the former assassin.

"I promise, Yohji." His voice was a whisper in the quiet hallway. "I will love you and be yours for as long as you will have me."

Yohji kissed the trembling lips, but this time it wasn't tender. It was a passionate and fierce kiss to seal the promise Schuldig had made. They fumbled their way into the apartment, never losing contact with one another. And as Yohji laid Schuldig on the bed and buried him with his own body, he recognized a warm feeling within his chest. He had found something to be part of again.

_To be continued…_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

Ack! I apologize profusely for my lack of update and the fact that this is not a full chapter. But I wanted to post something for those of you still reading. I will strive to post again within a week.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 6**

Schuldig was whistling and enjoying the fresh air and the clear blue sky as he walked through the park towards his apartment. After getting Yohji back in his life a week ago, his mood had been positively giddy. They spent every possible moment together and the former assassin had mentioned introducing him to his "good friend". Schuldig had suppressed an evil smile, knowing full well Yohji meant Omi. _The littlest assassin, all grown up and running things. How delightful_!

A quick survey of his surroundings confirmed that there were two possible people who could be watching him. Schuldig kept an even more vigilant watch for Esset now that he had admitted to himself and Yohji that he couldn't live without the former assassin_. I will not lose him and I'll kill anyone who tries to take him away from me_. His countenance betraying none of the dark thoughts swirling within his mind, Schuldig acted as if nothing were wrong and continued along while he reached out and gently touched their thoughts.

He stopped, frowned and pretended to look down at his watch, all the while trying to sort through random thoughts and make sure he wasn't part of them. A few moments later he smiled and tapped his watch and started walking again. One of the men was considering mugging him if he turned right towards some secluded areas of the park and the other had such lecherous thoughts that any normal person would have blushed. Schuldig began whistling again. _But I'm not a normal person_. Schuldig's smile widened as he turned right. _Time for a lesson in karma, my little straftater_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

As Schuldig nervously checked the clock, the two pans he had cooking on the stove and the timer on the refrigerator he did a quick check outside to see if Yohji was close. He had kept his promise of not reading his lover's thoughts but surely just seeking him out to make sure dinner was ready by the time he showed up wasn't cheating.

He stirred the bubbling brown sauce and smiled, please with the consistency. As he turned off the burner, he began to pull his mind back completely to his task at hand but snippets of a thought caught his attention and he froze, his dinner forgotten.

_..--ford…I'll…...shield….thoughts…_

Schuldig tried to focus in on the person whose thoughts he heard but he was unable to find the source again. He strode out of the kitchen, through his living room and out onto his balcony, heedless of safety and looked down at the people below, the windows of every building and the shadows in every alley. Nothing.

Suddenly a knock sounded at his door and he tensed. Reaching out he sighed in relief and proceeded to answer the door. He was greeted with a dashing smile and glittering eyes.

"Hi there."

"Hey, Katzchen."

Schuldig allowed Yohji to wrap a strong arm around his waist and pull him in for a kiss even as he guided them backwards into the apartment and let the door close behind them.

"Something smells delicious."

"Kisama!"

Yohji chuckled as Sai wriggled from his grasp and raced into the kitchen, cursing in several different languages. He shook his head as he deposited his coat and shoes at the doorway before proceeding into the kitchen to calm down his passionate cook.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"You're not still upset about dinner are you?"

Yohji came out from the bedroom with a towel around his waist and one draped around his neck to find Sai sitting on the sofa, glaring at the TV. Sai had seemed a little distracted during dinner and Yohji thought the sensitive man might be pouting over his "less than perfect" dinner, which for most people would probably be considered fine dining. But when Sai set his mind to doing something, if it didn't turn out exactly as he wished, he would pout like a child and wallow in self criticism.

Long, shower-warm arms wrapped themselves around Schuldig's shoulders as Yohji bent over the back of the sofa and hugged him from behind. He closed his eyes and let the smell of Yohji soothe him. He had been disappointed with dinner but his preoccupation was due to the snippet of thoughts he caught right before Yohji arrived. All through dinner and even now, he was scanning peoples' thoughts, looking for clues.

"No, katzchen. I think I'm just…..rundown."

"Why don't we go away for awhile?"

Schuldig sat forward, out of Yohji's grasp and turned to face the half naked man. "You would do that? You would…..go away with me?"

Yohji smiled and shook his head as he came to sit down next to his mystified lover.

"Of course I would. Do you think I'd let you go off without me?" Yohji reached out and caressed Sai's cheek, delighting in the response to his touch as Sai closed his eyes and leaned into the caress. _And he calls me a 'cat'_?

"But….what if I wanted to go away for a long time?"

Yohji guided Sai's head down on his lap and the quiet young man stretched out on the sofa. Attentive fingers ran through the ebony hair and sent shivers down Sai's spine as they ghosted down the back of his neck.

"I haven't taken a vacation in over two years. I think I can handle being away for an extended period of time. What did you have in mind? Three weeks? A month?"

Schuldig inwardly groaned. _If I've truly been found, I'll need to stay out of Japan for at least a year. I'll never be able to keep him away for that long. Not without messing with his mind_.

"Sai?"

Schuldig rolled over onto his back and looked up at Yohji. _I have to see just how long he's willing to go away. If I can get him away long enough, maybe he won't want to come back._

"I was thinking more like six months." Yohji's eyes went impossibly wide and Schuldig forged ahead with his half-truths. "My family would go on these seasonal trips and we would travel for months at a time or we would go live with a relative in another country for the winter. I've always had a desire to travel but I didn't want to do it alone. And now I don't have to." He sat up and came to sit on his knees, clasping Yohji's hands within his own. "Oh, please, Yohji, would you at least think about it? We could see so many wonderful places and make unforgettable memories. Please?"

Yohji didn't know what to say. Hearing and seeing Sai on his knees, begging, made him want to agree to anything he wanted. But his logical side held him back. _I can't just pick up and leave for six months. I can't afford to travel that long and I'd risk losing some valuable clients. And just how does Sai plan on paying for this little excursion_?

"Yohji?"

The lanky blonde sighed and hung his head. "I'll…..think about it."

Schuldig lunged for Yohji, sending them both toppling from the sofa and onto the floor where they landed with a thud and a groan from Yohji who took the fall for both of them. But his pain was quickly forgotten as hungry lips found his own and a greedy hand found its way under his towel.

_To be continued…._


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 7**

Schuldig distanced himself from Yohji for the next week feigning work while he searched for the source of the mysterious thoughts he picked up earlier. Each day he used a different disguise to keep his would-be stalkers guessing and each day he came up empty-handed. As the days passed he became more and more alarmed at his inability to find any trace of the person whose errant thoughts had sent him on this chase.

_..--ford…I'll…...shield….thoughts…_

Those words haunted him whether he was sleeping or awake. When he'd finally broken down towards the end of the week and gone to see Yohji, he was too tired to really enjoy the time they had together. After three days of searching and barely sleeping or eating, he made his way to Yohji's apartment taking a very convoluted and roundabout route.

"It's about time you got here! You called over an hour ago. What happened?"

Schuldig felt the stress melt away at the sight of the lanky blonde with the sparkling green eyes. He pulled flowers from behind his back and smiled.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I got caught up in a scheduling duel. Forgive me?"

Yohji took the flowers and raised an eyebrow as he smelled the fragrant bundle.

"Depends. Did you win?"

Schuldig leaned in and gave Yohji a quick kiss on the cheek before passing him and entering the apartment, throwing himself on the sofa.

"In two days I'll have four whole days to devote to you."

Yohji closed the door and went into the kitchen to put the flowers in some water. Although he didn't show any outward signs, Yohji could hear the fatigue in Sai's voice. _He's been working really long hours lately and he was already burned out to begin with. He needs to rest_. He walked back out and placed the flowers on a side table and joined Sai on the sofa.

"Does that mean you're here to ruthlessly have sex with me and then leave?"

Schuldig couldn't match the mischievous smile he was receiving and he felt guilty. It wasn't because he didn't desire the man sitting next to him. He was just too tired to do anything about it at the moment. _But if I want to get some sleep, I'm going to have to put him to sleep first. I'm so sorry, Katzchen_.

Yohji saw the tired smile and he chuckled. He reached out and pulled Sai to him, stretching out on the sofa and letting the tired man rest his weight on him and use his chest as a pillow. He stroked the soft ebony hair and smiled when he heard the content sigh.

"Are you hungry, babe?"

"Mmmm, no. I just need to lay here with you right now. Is that ok?"

"Of course."

The pair lay on the sofa in the quiet apartment, streaks of orange light painting the walls as the sun slowly descended. Yohji was thinking about the trip Sai had proposed as he let the man fall asleep on him. _I think the trip would be good for him. For us. But….six months? Maybe I can get him down to three_.

As Yohji envisioned the fun they would have, he felt his eyelids getting heavy. _I should get up before I…..fall asleep. I wanted….to send that email….to….Omi…_

Schuldig waited until he heard the steady breathing and felt the hand fall from his hair before he attempted to move. He looked down at the sleeping blonde and felt his heart constrict painfully. His love for Yohji, his fear for Yohji's safety and his guilt for hiding from the man he loved were tearing him apart.

"I wonder….I think you would go away with Sai. But would you go away with Schuldig?"

He leaned up and gave Yohji a tender kiss before settling back onto his chest to get some much needed sleep. _I love you, Yohji. I believe in our love. I believe in your love for me. I think the time has come to stop hiding from you_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Six months! Are you crazy!"

Yohji had expected the outburst that's why he didn't flinch as the younger man practically screeched at him. Sai was traveling for a few days for business so Yohji thought he'd take the opportunity to speak with Omi about the proposed trip, hoping his friend could shed some light on the situation one way or another.

"Not crazy, just unsure. I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not to go."

"You're actually considering going?"

Yohji just shrugged and offered that cocky grin Omi knew so well.

"Yeah. I love Sai and the prospect of taking this trip with him excites me."

"I'm getting pretty sick and tired of hearing about this Sai person. Explain to me again why I haven't met this man yet?"

"I've told you. He travels and works weird hours. We've tried to make plans but between the schedule of a translator, a private detective and the head of, um…." Yohji gestured with his hand and quickly gave up looking for an appropriate term. "…..**_this_**, things just haven't synched up yet. Don't worry, you'll meet him, Omi."

"How? When! You're going to be gone for six months. And just how do you plan on affording this little excursion? What about your clients? You think they're going to wait for you to come back?"

Omi took a calming breath and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I hate sounding like the bad guy here, Yohji, but----"

"It's ok. That's why I wanted to talk to you about this. You're my friend and I knew you would be honest and not hold back."

"Why six months? Why not go for a few weeks come home, work for a few months and then leave for another few weeks? Why such a drastic amount of time?"

Yohji had asked himself the same questions. His past had taught him to be suspicious first and trusting second. But with Sai's family history combined with how rundown he'd become, Yohji could easily see Sai wanting to take an extended holiday. _His wanderlust has been held in check for too long_.

"He's used to traveling for extended periods of time with his family."

"Then let him go with them."

"They're dead."

"Oh. Well, what about---"

"I think I'm gonna go, Omi."

Yohji smiled and sat up, taking a drink and placing it back on the glass table between them. He still found it amusing that Omi kept a decanter of bourbon in his office. _I don't think I've ever seen him drink any_.

"I've never been able to travel and it would be nice to do while I'm still young and with somebody I care about." He saw the younger man begin to protest again and he plowed ahead with his reasoning. "And….I've got a fair amount of money saved up, plus it won't just be me paying for everything. And as far as my clients are concerned….if I lose them, then I'll handle it."

"But, Yohji…"

"What can I say, Omi? I love him and he makes me happy. With him by my side, I feel stronger. I feel….whole."

Omi was still skeptical and made a mental note to put surveillance on Yohji immediately so he could find out all he could about this Sai person. He'd been respectful of Yohji's wishes and had been very patient. _Time's up, Yohji. I can tell how much you love him and I'm happy for you but…..it scares me. I won't see you hurt again_.

"Omi?"

Yohji didn't like the look in the big blue eyes. They'd narrowed, focused and Yohji knew from years of experience that when Omi had that look, he was plotting. Calculating. Moving his chess pieces into position.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry. My mind just kinda----"

"Started planning a way to keep me from going."

"No! I swear, I wasn't---"

"Omi. I've known you too long. I appreciate your concern and I know I would do the same for you. But no mater what you do….I'm going."

The two friends sat there, green and blue meeting in an intense gaze that became a silent conversation. Both men used their wills and years of friendship to communicate their concerns, happiness and thankfulness for the other. And in the end Omi sat back with a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You better send me lots of postcards."

"I will."

"And call."

"Absolutely."

"And I want a detailed itinerary of---"

"Omi." The young man looked up to see his friend smiling at him and try as he might, he couldn't stop himself from smiling back. "I'm not going away forever. I'll be back."

"I know."

Yohji chuckled and took another sip from his glass before leaning over and ruffling Omi's hair.

"I've gotta go. I have a client meeting. I'll cal you in a few, ok?"

"Ok."

Omi smiled at the winking man as he exited his office. Once the door clicked shut he sighed once again and his gaze fell to the glass on the table. He leaned up and reached out, picking the glass up and turning it so he would drink from the same side as Yohji. He took a sip and welcomed the burning liquid sliding down his throat.

"Goodbye, Yohji."

_To be continued…._


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

**A/N:** SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY! I'm a bad bad person! I got caught up in a new story and I totally ignored this one.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 8**

Schuldig sat on the sofa, hands buried in his hair as he stared down at the empty glass. He normally didn't indulge in excessive amounts of alcohol because he had to keep his mind sharp. But today as his thoughts kept turning to Yohji and what he was going to do about the blonde, his mood had deteriorated until he found himself depressed and drinking alone in his apartment. Yohji wasn't supposed to come over tonight. Since "Sai's work schedule" had been so busy, the detective had taken on some extra work.

"_If I'm working, I can't miss you as much."_

Schuldig remembered the warm smile and even warmer lips as Yohji held him close that night. He wrapped his own arms around himself now and sighed.

_Yohji….I've got to stop being so selfish. This is my problem and it's unfair to ask him to leave his life behind. Besides, even if by some miracle of god he comes with me, he'll still be in danger. I've got to let him go. _

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Schuldig was asleep when the sound of the phone broke the eerie silence of his darkened apartment. He blindly reached for the phone and made sure his mind was clear enough before answering.

"Hello?"

_Sai?_

"Yohji."

_Did I wake you?_

"It's ok. I'm always glad to hear your voice."

_I was wondering if you had a few moments to spare. I'm close to your apartment and could be there in ten minutes._

"Uh, yeah, sure. I…I thought you had appointments all day."

_The last one ended early and I have a little time in-between._

"Sounds good. I'll see you soon."

Schuldig disconnected and groaned as he stood up to retrieve some aspirin and make some coffee. _I've gotta wake up fast_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey! Anybody home?"

"In here!"

Yohji followed the smooth voice and the rich smell of coffee to the sofa to find the ebony-haired man of his dreams stretched out and sipping from a steaming cup of dark brew. He leaned over and received a coffee-tainted kiss before sitting down and placing the long lean legs over his lap.

"Hey there sexy."

"Hey yourself."

"Tired?" Schuldig shrugged and took another sip of his coffee. "It's not like you to drink coffee so late in the day."

"It's only five. So how did your meeting go?"

"It was very enlightening."

"Really? Do tell."

Yohji chuckled and ran his hands up and down Sai's legs, squeezing the flesh every now and then earning him a grateful smile.

"I stopped in to see Omi today and….."

Schuldig lost track of what Yohji was saying at the mention of Omi's name. His thoughts turned dark as he thought of how and when he was going to leave Yohji behind. He drank in the smiling face and long slender fingers as they gestured during some comment or another the shiny, silky blonde hair and green sparkling eyes. _Those damn green eyes. I never stood a chance against them_. Schuldig felt a sharp pain in his chest and took another sip of coffee, hoping the hot liquid would drown the sensation.

"So anyway, after talking to him I realized that I wanted to do it. I think your idea sounds like fun."

"My…..idea?"

Schuldig put his empty mug down on the nearby table distractedly and continued to lose himself in his own thoughts. _I can't lie to him anymore. I've already put him in enough danger. I'll have to let go. But how am I going to do that_?

"Yeah. You said you wanted to go away for six months. If you still want to go, I'll be more than happy to join you."

Yohji's smile and excitement at telling Sai about his decision quickly faded as he watched the man next to him become a picture of conflicting emotions. He could see the brow furrow slightly, but his lips seemed to want to curve upwards in a smile. And his eyes…..even though he was looking right at him, Yohji would swear the dark green eyes didn't see him at all.

"Sai? Hey….I thought you'd be thrilled. What's wrong?"

Schuldig barely felt the loving fingers running through his hair as his shocked mind tried to process what he'd just heard. _He's willing to leave everything behind to go with me. I….I can't let him do it. Not without telling him. It's only fair. He should know the truth and then make his decision_.

Schuldig reached out and caressed Yohji's cheek with a slightly trembling hand as he smiled lovingly at the blonde.

"I am thrilled. I can't even begin to explain to you how happy I am that you want to go away with me. I love you so much, Yohji. It's just that…."

Schuldig got up from the sofa with a groan and ran his fingers through his hair, pacing the floor. _I believe in you, Yohji. I believe in **us**. Please understand_.

"I…I have something I need to tell you."

Every instinct Yohji had screamed at him at once. And they were all saying the same thing: something very horrible is about to happen.

"Sai, what's going on?"

"I'm not…..I'm not who I **_appear_** to be." Schuldig felt like he was going to be sick. _I have to tell him. He has a right to know. Yohji, please love me. Believe in us. _"I….oh god….please…."

Yohji was now sitting on the edge of the sofa trying to keep himself calm while he watched Sai nervously pace the floor, hands clutching his stomach.

"Just tell me, Sai."

Schuldig stopped pacing and looked at the fearful green eyes staring up at him. He swallowed hard and took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Ok. This is who I really am. But I want you to remember one thing. I did this to protect myself. The man you've fallen in love with….is still me. **_I_** love you, and no matter what you see…..It's still **_me_**."

Yohji was clutching the edge of the sofa so tightly his knuckles were white. He watched in stunned horror as the image of Sai, the man with ebony hair and deep green eyes melted away, as if only a mirage. In his place stood a very different man. Gone was the honey-colored skin, replaced with pale, alabaster skin. The short ebony hair gave way to long strawberry blonde. The only thing that remained was those deep green eyes.

"Y….y….you?" Yohji stood up and took a few unsteady steps to stand behind the sofa, not sure he was awake and praying to god he was asleep and just in some twisted nightmare. But the man before him looked terrified and his own chest hurt from the pounding of his heart. "N-no. It….it can't be."

"Yohji…" Schuldig stepped towards the shocked man but Yohji stumbled away, eyes wide in horror. "It's still me. The only thing that changed is the way I look."

"Stay away from me, you lying bastard!" His shock gone, Yohji's body was now consumed with a fierce anger as it began to shake and his green eyes glinted dangerously. "What else have you done!" Yohji brought a hand up to his pounding head and grimaced. As he desperately tried to focus his thoughts something suddenly occurred to him and he turned wide, horrified eyes on the man across the room. "You messed with my mind so I would fall in love with you!"

"No! Yohji, I would never---"

"Bullshit!" Yohji reached for his wrist and a few flashes of silver later Schuldig found himself surrounded by razor sharp wire that would slice him to ribbons if he moved an inch either way.

"Yohji, please….I've been hiding from Esset ever since I quit by disguising myself and moving around from place to place. Japan was just another stop to keep Crawford off my back. I didn't count on meeting you and falling in lo---"

"Shut up!"

Yohji couldn't stop shaking and his voice was strangled with emotion. Gone was the quiet, sexy timbre that had whispered in his ear, replaced by a thin desperate voice with a slight German accent. He looked across the room and he could only see a man that had once been his enemy. _No, not A very dangerous and manipulative competitor who loved to play games with people's minds_.

"I can't believe…..you…." Yohji shook his head a few times as if trying to banish thoughts from his mind. "….I can't believe I let you….I thought you were…." He growled and his free hand pulled at his hair. "You sick fucking bastard!"

"Yohji, please!"

"I said shut up!"

With a slight move of his wrist, Yohji commanded his wires to constrict around Schuldig, slicing him all over his body. He pulled just enough to slice through his clothing and cause a trickle of blood, nothing more, and the German only winced, his eyes remaining fixed on Yohji.

Yohji and Schuldig remained motionless and nothing could be heard but their breathing. _Why can't I kill him! _ _He….he made me believe…..but it was all just a game…..just some sick game to get his rocks off. Oh god….I should kill him…..I should….._

Before Schuldig knew what was happening, the invisible wire vanished back to its owner, but he still didn't move. Suddenly he noticed tears slowly making their way down Yohji's cheeks. He reached out, taking a tentative step towards him, but Yohji started towards him and Schuldig froze.

Yohji walked right up to Schuldig and punched him as hard as he could in the midsection. Green eyes went wide and he fell to his knees in a silent scream.

"If I ever see your face again, I will kill you."

_To be continued….._


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone for your kind words and patience as I struggled with this story. I think I've got a pretty good handle on it now and hopefully (cross everything you've got people!) the next update will not take as long.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 9**

The pounding in his head told Yohji it was time to face another day but he was willing to fight it to get a decent day's sleep. He pulled the covers over his head and groaned as he rolled over, turning his back to the offending light streaming in through the window. But instead of rolling over into an empty space, Yohji came in contact with something warm and solid.

Slowly he opened his eyes to a broad set of shoulders and ebony hair. He forced his brain to start working and he searched hazy memories of last night to come up with a name. _Joseph. American. Here on a business trip. Insanely talented tongue_.

Yohji smiled as he pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked around to find he was in a hotel room. And from the furnishings and the bed linens, he would say it was a really nice hotel. But Joseph's talent and a nice hotel were not enough to keep Yohji in bed. He expertly extricated himself from the bed without disturbing its other occupant and quickly found his clothes.

Once dressed he went to the other side of the bed to gaze down at the sleeping man. He was very sexy with pale skin, shiny ebony hair and luscious pink lips. Yohji recalled his killer smile, deep voice and even deeper green eyes. Yohji frowned as he stood up and headed for the door. As he walked down the hallway towards the elevator, Yohji lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. _They all look like **him** in one way or another. What the fuck is wrong with me?_

It had been three weeks since he'd found out that the man he fell in love with was just a mirage. A beautiful, cruel mirage thought up by a sick and twisted man to torture him. He still couldn't recall what happened to him the first few days after Schuldig revealed himself. He eventually woke up on a park bench to find himself suffering from the worst hangover known to man as well as shivering so hard that it hurt.

His coat was gone and his wallet only held his driver's license, a business card from a club with a phone number written on the back and a napkin which had a scribbled note on it that he assumed read 'thanks for the memorable night'. The only good things he could come up with were that he still had his keys and Omi wasn't around to yell at him and lecture.

After retching in some nearby bushes, he slowly and gratefully staggered the short distance to his apartment where he found that he had a few bruises on his face, several hickeys along his torso and much to his horror there were several small doodles of what looked like pornographic stick figures drawn in pen on his thighs. _What the fuck did I do_! It wasn't until he'd showered, eaten and slept for almost a day that another disturbing question came to mind. _Where the hell is my car_!

After his little escapade into the world of the drunk and depraved, Yohji decided that for his own safety he should try and handle things a little differently. He had resolved not to tell Omi, not wanting to give the younger man another reason to worry about him. And when he did finally have to offer up an explanation for Sai's absence to his longtime friend, he would simply tell him that Sai had suddenly left without saying goodbye. _Which isn't too far from the truth_.

After that, he was faced with the dilemma of how he was going to banish the pain and hatred in his heart. He opted for equal parts work and alcohol. But instead of indulging in alcohol and work, Yohji found himself with one after another of men who reminded him of the ebony-haired man of his dreams. _Gods damn you, Schuldig, for reducing me to this!_

At the thought of Schuldig's manipulation, Yohji slipped the car into sixth gear and roared down the highway trying to outrun the dull ache in his chest.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Dead green eyes stared ahead blankly as the sound of the phone pierced the tomb-like silence of the apartment. Schuldig didn't even flinch as the phone rang five times before the answering machine picked up. A female voice sounded inquiring about his interest in doing a survey on a product he recently purchased. The machine beeped, signaling the end of the message and still Schuldig had not even blinked.

He'd only left his apartment once since Yohji had stormed out three weeks ago. Summoning courage from some unknown source within, Schuldig tracked down Yohji to beg the blonde for his forgiveness. But when he'd found the blonde he was in a club, making out with some guy in a dark corner. Schuldig's stomach heaved and he raced to the restroom just in time to empty the contents of his stomach before slinking back to his silent and dark apartment.

Schuldig remained on the sofa, eyes staring at a memory that just wouldn't leave him in peace. He recalled the anguished green eyes and the venomous voice that warned him of his fate. _"If I ever see your face again, I will kill you."_ Schuldig shivered involuntarily but still gave no other indication he was alive.

_Maybe I'm dead and just don't know it. I could be in some sort of limbo, stuck here because I'm unwilling to move forward in my journey. But…how did I die? Did Yohji actually kill me? Or perhaps Crawford finally found me. But I should remember dying, right?_

Schuldig looked around the apartment, seeing images of happier times with Yohji. Times filled with laughter and love and light. But now it was drained of any life or happiness. Now there was only silence, anguish and darkness.

_Why can't I leave? He doesn't ever want to see me again and I'm sure Crawford is still lurking out there somewhere. So why can't I leave? There's nothing left here for me._

He felt a familiar stirring and slowly stood up and walked for the bathroom keeping a steadying hand on the wall._ How could I need to go to the bathroom? When's the last time I put something in my stomach?_

As Schuldig washed his hands he looked up at the image in the mirror and felt a spark of anger ignite and he punched the mirror with an anguished cry. Schuldig pulled his fist back and looked at the trickles of blood on his knuckles, then turned back to the shattered mirror.

_Why do I keep this face? I don't need it anymore. Yohji knows the truth. _

Schuldig fell to his knees as tears welled up in his eyes. He slumped fully to the floor and just sat there, crying for a few moments. As he wiped at his eyes and made to stand up, a flash caught his eye and he picked up a large shard of mirror. Again, the image of Sai looked back at him, sad, hollow, and broken.

_He loved you. He loved you and that's why I can't let you go. Because he loves you….. _The image of Sai melted away revealing Schuldig's true appearance. _…..And he hates me._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Yohji sat in his car, half-smoked cigarette dangling dangerously from his lips as he stared unblinking at a doorway down the street. He was on a stakeout and the person he needed to follow was in the brick townhouse behind the unassuming dark green door.

"Come on, what's taking so long?"

He'd been sitting on the street for over an hour, his information indicating that on Thursday nights the target went out with his mistress and so he was waiting for the man to emerge with the kept woman in tow.

In an attempt to keep himself occupied, he let his eyes slowly roam up and down the street scene laid out before him. It was getting pretty late in the evening and the street lamps offered some illumination on his subject. The neighborhood was nice enough. Mostly residential, mixed with a few small businesses.

He smiled at the threesome of old men standing at the newspaper stand, smoking and chatting. More houses dotted here and there with window boxes, a small grocery store which was already closed. His eyes continued to wander, always checking the illuminated doorway for his target, when something out of the ordinary caught his eye. A blue neon sign further down the street. He sat up and squinted and when he was finally able to make out the letters he sat back and groaned.

_I wasn't even paying attention. Shit._

Yohji tried to look away, but his eyes wouldn't leave the cool blue lighting that advertised the Blue Note Jazz Club and his mind began to think back to a certain night with a certain ebony-haired man. He had learned a lot about Sai that night.

The blonde frowned and shook his head a few times. _No, not Sai. Schuldig. And they were nothing but lies._

He practically growled as he stubbed the cigarette but out in the ashtray and quickly lit another, inhaling deeply. And as much as he fought his mind, it just wouldn't let him bury the memories. He watched the hazy smoke swirl within the confines of his car and he was suddenly transported back to the smoky jazz club.

"_I was taking care of my mother. She was ill and I'm the only family she had left." _

Yohji remembered the sadness in his voice and the forced smile when he brushed off Yohji's apology at bringing up something so sensitive.

_The bastard. He had me believing that shit. I can't believe I was so easily manipulated._

He desperately wanted a drink right now and made a note of the time as he glanced down at his wrist. _Half an hour asshole and I'm outta here_.

_Years of training and I still fell victim to his mind manipulation. Shit_! Yohji banged against his steering wheel several times in disgust and frustration. He inhaled another lungful of nicotine and stared out the window.

_But…..even if he was manipulating my mind…..he didn't have to play the part, right? He could have just implanted suggestions into my mind instead of altering his appearance and going through this whole song and dance routine. What was he trying to accomplish?_

Movement caught his eye and he saw a couple walking down the street, arm in arm. They looked happy and in love and Yohji was about to dismiss them when the guy grabbed the girl and pressed her up against a car, kissing her deeply before opening the door for her to get in. Yohji watched, the vision blurring until he saw himself and a certain honey-skinned man leaning against a car, kissing.

Sai…Schuldig…..that man….had invited Yohji back to his place. Moans, gasps, the feel of slick, heated flesh and hands desperately clutching at his back sent a wave of heat through his body. He recalled his delight the next morning at seeing two mugs next to the coffee pot as the smell of French toast filled the kitchen.

_Did he make me feel that too? That sense of belonging? Of happiness? Was he just playing some game?_

Yohji couldn't take it anymore. He started the car and drove off to find a dark bar to drown his sorrows. As if sensing that it would soon be shutdown, Yohji's mind kicked into overdrive.

_Was it all just a game? He said he was hiding from Esset, not me. Which would explain…..Sai. And what purpose would a game like that truly serve? Sex? He could get it anytime, anywhere. Secrets? I'm no longer privy to Kritiker secrets and we're no longer adversaries on jobs. So what could he possibly want from me other than…..me?_

"_I did this to protect myself. The man you've fallen in love with….is still me. **I** love you, and no matter what you see…..It's still **me**."_

Yohji recalled the terrified look in the green eyes and the desperation in the voice as Schuldig pleaded his case. He knew the redhead didn't fear for his life. All he had to do was reach into Yohji's mind and…..

The sound of screeching tires and honking horns filled the night as Yohji slammed on his brakes and stopped in the middle of the street.

_He never had to tell me in the first place. But….he did…._

The unlit cigarette fell from his lips and he stared ahead, eyes wide as his heart began to pound wildly in his chest

"It wasn't a game. He….loves me. He promised….It was real. He really loves me."

_To be continued…._

**To Roxie Faye**: Talk about everything being connected! The SchuxYohji pics, the WK fics **_and_** the GW fics? Well, great minds do think alike! Glad you're enjoying the stories and thanks for the review!

**To moimoi-chan**: The Weiss boys were made for angst and that's one of the reasons why we love them so much.

**To StickmanRVR**: And a big WOW right back at ya! You've read it more than once? I thought I was the only one crazy enough to read my stuff over and over. Thanks for the kind words and the review!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

**A/N:** I had this whole rationalization about this latest chapter explaining how strongly I felt about the direction of the storyline but ultimately I've decided on the following: It's my story. I like it. Don't hate me.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 10**

Schuldig shivered as he walked from the bedroom to the kitchen in nothing but a towel around his waist. He began making breakfast as he thought back on his dream from the previous night. He scoffed as he cracked an egg and dropped it in the pan. _No, more like a recalled memory….. _

Schuldig and Crawford were in the American's office at one of the many office buildings Esset occupied through dummy corporations. Crawford had been expecting Schuldig's latest mission report, but instead, had received a resignation letter.

Crawford just sat behind his desk, fingers steepled, smug grin on his face.

"Do you honestly think you can just pick up and leave whenever you wish?"

"Watch me."

"You belong to Esset, Schuldig. And more importantly, you belong to me."

Schuldig scoffed, hiding the wince as he stood up and headed for the door. His hastily treated wounds had reopened and he could feel the warm wetness of blood soaking his bandages as he limped towards his freedom.

"You won't last, Schuldig. You need me."

Waking up from the dream, Schuldig felt an odd sense of calm. Ever since his confession to Yohji he'd been unable to do anything other than dwell in his misery and wonder if he was better off dead. But suddenly, he didn't care if he lived or died. He didn't care what happened to him. He didn't care if Crawford turned out to be correct.

"_You won't last, Schuldig."_

So now here he was, sitting half naked and shivering at his small kitchen table staring at a cup of coffee, two eggs, toast and an orange. He'd considered getting dressed before sitting down to eat, but again, he just didn't care.

He took a bite of the toast, not tasting it and swallowed it down with a sip of coffee. _There's no way I'll ever get Yohji back so what's the point? I might as well go back. If not, I'll be damned for eternity, running away from two ghosts: Esset and Yohji._

As Schuldig continued to eat breakfast, a very familiar voice penetrated his wandering mind.

_**Are you awake, Schuldig?**_

Green eyes as round as saucers gazed unseeing, a shaking hand held in mid air, mere millimeters from the ceramic handle of his coffee cup.

"C-Craw…..ford?"

_**If you're awake, you're no doubt eating a nutritious breakfast. A good start means a good day. Isn't that what your mother taught you?**_

At the sound of the mocking voice, Schuldig snapped out of his shock and pushed back from the table knocking the chair over, and stomping into the living room looking around as if expecting the American to materialize in his apartment.

"Show yourself, coward!"

Schuldig spoke the words out loud but he projected the thoughts into the mind that was quickly pinpointed in his short trip from the kitchen. He was surprised to find Crawford located so far away.

_**It's too early for shouting. Could you keep it down to a dull roar please?**_

"Why won't you leave me alone?"

Schuldig heard and felt the amusement from Crawford and he clenched his jaw tightly.

**_Come now, Schuldig, don't play stupid_**. A quiet sigh and a sense of defeat came rippling off of Crawford and into Schuldig's mind. **_Alright, fine. If it will make you feel better, I will say it. You are too valuable of an asset to simply let free. Come back, Schuldig. If you surrender to me willingly, without further fuss, I promise a swift and slightly painful punishment_**.

"'Valuable asset'? You're a better liar than that, Crawford. The only reason you're hunting me down is because your pride is on the line. Or has it become more than that now? Has Esset finally realized that the only people leaving are the ones forced to work with you? Is your precious ass on the line as well, _Brad_?"

_**Playtime is over. End this stupid charade of independence now. You're acting like some petulant child.**_

Schuldig smirked at the stern and impatient voice. It was always a satisfying feeling getting a reaction out of the normally calm precog.

**_You will come back to me. Now._**

Schuldig lost his smirk and frowned at the ominous words.

"Go to hell. I like my life just the way it is. Away from Esset and away from you."

Schuldig shivered at the light chuckle that echoed in his head.

**_Is that why you've kept this little game going for so long? Has your arrogance grown so rampant that you still think you can live without me?_**

Schuldig growled as he stomped into his bedroom, flinging open the closet and pulling out a small suitcase. He tossed the unzipped bag on the bed and began tossing clothes and stacks of cash in as he cursed under his breath.

_Damn you, Crawford, I won't let you be the end of me! _

Schuldig threw some clothes on and in record time, he was racing down the stairs of the apartment building and heading for the back exit, wondering why he was running away. Just moments ago he was considering turning himself in to replace the misery of losing Yohji with a more familiar hell that he was accustomed to dealing with.

_It must be my survival instinct kicking in. But sooner or later it's going to get tired and that's when I'll find release from this darkness. From Crawford, Esset and….Yohji._

Schuldig kept a brisk pace as he descended the stairs from his third floor apartment, the idea of taking the elevator seeming slow and confined in his present hassled state of mind. He pushed through the stairwell door and entered the lobby. He turned and looked out the main entrance, the sunshine a warm invitation. But he frowned, not liking the idea of walking out into broad daylight so he turned in the opposite direction and headed for the back of the building. He passed the office and maintenance rooms and laundry area, finally emerging into a narrow alley devoid of sunshine, but not of people.

"You've given us quite a run for our money, Red."

Schuldig narrowed his eyes at the three approaching men that were obviously waiting for him. _Damn it! I should have known he would have people waiting around every corner just waiting for me to run_. _But_ _how did they recognize me_? His instincts screaming at him that something was terribly wrong, Schuldig reached back to grab the door from closing, prepared to flee back into the building, but he heard a definitive click. _So much for that idea_. _I guess that leaves me with only one option_. _Although I hate soiling my mind with these types. So filthy_.

"Tell you what. Keep the money and forget you ever saw me."

"Your little mind games won't work on us. Esset has these new little toys that keep your mind out of ours. Pretty clever, huh?"

The man speaking tapped his ear with a smirk on his face.

"You idiot!" The man in the center turned and smacked the smirking man upside the head. "That's classified information!"

The subordinate cried out and rubbed his head, almost cutting himself with the knife in his hand. Schuldig could only chuckle at the sight. _Pathetic. This is who you've been reduced to using, Crawford_? _No wonder you want me back so badly._

"Indeed. Well, I must say that little piece of information puts my mind at ease. Otherwise, I think I would have to kill myself for allowing three intelligence-deficient goons such as you see through my disguise."

"What!"

"Get 'im!"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

As Yohji jumped out of his car and raced for the front door to Schuldig's apartment building, he heard someone cry out in pain. He skidded to a stop and looked from the alleyway just a few feet away and the apartment building door. _Damn it! I can never leave well enough alone!_

He turned and reached the entrance to the alley to see three figures with their backs to him, obviously cornering their victim. One of them was rubbing his head and Yohji could see the knife glinting in his hand.

"Indeed. Well, I must say that little piece of information puts my mind at ease. Otherwise, I think I would have to kill myself for allowing three intelligence-deficient goons such as you see through my disguise."

Yohji's heart constricted painfully when he heard the familiar voice. He took a few cautious and silent steps into the alley, readying his wire. _But he should be able to just reach into their minds and diffuse the situation. Why hasn't he done that yet? Is he trying to get some information out of them?_

"What!"

"Get 'im!"

Two of the three men lunged at Schuldig and without a moment's hesitation Yohji sprang into action, garroting the third quickly. As Yohji jumped over the body to help Schuldig fend off his two attackers, one of the men turned his attention on Yohji and came flying in his direction. He barely had time to get out of the way and send an elbow to the back of the man's neck, sending him down hard. Satisfied the man wouldn't be getting back up anytime soon, Yohji spun around to see stunned green eyes gazing at him.

"Yohji! What are you--?"

"Look out!"

Schuldig returned his attention to the man waving a knife in front of him. He jumped back a few paces, dodging and looking for his opening. He saw Yohji readying his wire but he gave the blonde a quick look telling him to stay out of the fight.

Yohji watched, body tense and ready to pounce as Schuldig maneuvered his opponent into making a mistake which he quickly capitalized on, snapping the guy's neck. He let himself relax once Schuldig was out of danger and he slowly approached the confused but wary man, who was grasping the knife of his assailant.

Schuldig saw Yohji slowly approaching and although thee was nothing he wanted more than to be close to the tall blonde again, he remembered Yohji's promise to him the last time they saw each other.

"_If I ever see your face again, I will kill you."_

Yohji saw the fear and hesitation in the deep green eyes and the tight grip on the blade which was raised at him. He put his wire away and held his hands out to his side.

"I won't hurt you. I came here to talk."

Schuldig slowly let his body relax, wanting, needing to believe the man standing only ten feet away. He tossed the knife to the ground and took a step forward.

"What did you----"

"Die, you bastard!"

Yohji didn't even have time to turn towards the voice before a succession of loud bangs echoed through the alley. Two sets of green eyes went wide with shock at the same time as the bullets found their mark.

"Schuldig! No!"

Yohji clamored over to Schuldig who was looking down at the three rapidly growing crimson stains on his chest and stomach.

"Schuldig!"

The strawberry blonde looked up and tried to offer a smile as he fell to his knees with a grunt. Yohji caught him by the shoulders and eased him down onto the ground. He heard a rustling noise and looked up to see the Esset agent trying to get up onto his feet. In a graceful move belying its murderous intent, Yohji sent his wire out and beheaded the man before he even knew what was happening.

Yohji turned his attention back to Schuldig, cradling the wounded man's upper body in his arms.

Schuldig wished he could feel Yohji's arms gently holding him. But all he could feel right now was a searing pain that was threatening to overwhelm his body and mind. He looked up at the fearful green eyes and managed to reach up and trail shaking fingertips along Yohji's jaw line.

"I'm sorry…."

"Shhhhh, you don't need to----"

Schuldig winced and closed his eyes briefly against the pain as his fingertips came to rest on Yohji's trembling lips.

"I'm sorry…..that you weren't the one…..to kill me."

Yohji let out a strangled noise as he held Schuldig's fingertips to his lips, kissing them as the tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"Stupid. I didn't come here to kill you." Yohji brushed some stray locks out of Schuldig's eyes and leaned down to administer tender kisses all over the pale face. "I came here to ask for a date."

"Date?"

Yohji smiled at the confused man in his arms.

"Yes. So what do you say? We can go to that little jazz club that you like."

Schuldig smiled as the pain began to fade and his body started to feel light and warm.

"That….sounds….per..fect…..katz…."

Yohji felt the panic grip his heart as he watched Schuldig's eyes slowly close.

"Schuldig?" He gently shook the still man but received no response. "Hey. No, wake up!" Yohji slapped a pale cheek a few times and still he couldn't get a response. "Schuldig!"

Yohji kept trying to wake the man in his arms, screaming his name and demanding he wake up. He never noticed the crowd gathering or the flashing lights or the approaching paramedics. He was forcefully dragged away from Schuldig's body as the paramedics took over.

"Schuldig, gods damn you! You can't die! We have a date! Schuldig!"

_To be continued….._

**To Roxie Faye** – Ha! I liked the car thing too! I totally pictured Yohji having this epiphany in the middle of traffic, oblivious of everything else around him. And I hope the Crawford/Schu talking thing made sense. It's hard to portray a telepathic conversation!

**To Aoi-sama** – Tissue for the sadness, or hammer to bash my head in?

**To Princess Sin** – Was the content of this chapter that predictable? Not that your scenario came true, but it was probably a lot closer than most folks. And by the way….I like how you think. Nothing like some gut-wrenching angst to make one appreciate their own life.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine. Shocker, I know.

**A/N: **Yay! I updated before I reached two months without an update! Yes, I realize this isn't necessarily something to be proud of but I savor my victories where I can.

Ok, so I had the WORST time trying to come up with an ending for this sucker. No, wait. Correction: I had **no** trouble coming up with an ending. The problem was that I came up with three and then wrestled with which one to post. Then I came up with this hair-brained scheme to post all three and let you chose which one you wanted to read depending on your mood. BUT THEN….this ending came to me while I was lying awake last night watching Cartoon Network (Big O!). So here it is. I really like it and have already started an epilogue.

Thank you all for reading my little story. I hope you like it and aren't too mad for having to wait so long.

**Heart's Truth**

**Chapter 11**

Omi grimaced as he entered the dimly lit club and searched for his friend. The agent he had assigned to Yohji reported that he entered a jazz club twenty minutes ago so Omi had decided now was a good time to confront the blonde.

He wandered up to the bar and began scanning the sparse crowd and quickly found Yohji sitting at a table, slouching in a chair and staring at the stage, drink in hand. Omi ordered a drink and made his way to the table, sitting down without waiting for an invitation. Yohji merely raised an eyebrow at his newly arrived drinking companion.

"So you really would stoop to having me followed."

Omi wasn't sure of his friend's true feelings on the matter. He saw the wicked grin and heard the amused realization in the voice, but the eyes, those sparkling green eyes that revealed what the blonde was truly feeling, were closed. They looked dull and hazy.

"I wouldn't have showed up here except….."

"You were worried. It's ok."

"No, it's not ok!"

In an uncharacteristic move, the youngest Takatori yelled and slammed his fist on the small table, drawing attention from the subdued crowd and almost spilling his drink. Omi hung his head and took a slow steadying breath, then reached out and drained his glass. He closed his eyes against the burning sensation and missed the raised eyebrow of his companion as he gestured to the bartender for another drink for Omi. And when he reopened his eyes he kept his attention on the musicians and spoke quietly, his control in place once again.

"You….you were at a funeral today. Schuldig's funeral."

"Yes I was."

"I'd like a little bit more of an explanation than that."

The hard, icy tone of his younger friend surprised him. He wasn't used to Omi using his Persia persona on him. They were friends after all. Yohji took another sip of his drink and green eyes studied his companion's tense body. His jaw was clenched, his fingers wrapped tightly around his refreshed drink, his eyes narrowed as he supposedly watched the band.

"Fair enough." One more shot of liquid courage and Yohji was ready. "Sai was really Schuldig in disguise."

Omi whirled turning wide blue eyes on his friend.

"He confessed everything and I….flipped."

"Did you….?"

Yohji just shook his head gently back and forth. He couldn't say the words, "I didn't kill him" because he honestly felt that he was partly responsible for the redhead's death. So he opted to simply give Omi the truth he was looking for. _If I had just calmed down and listened to what he was saying. Or just realized sooner_…..

"So…..what happened?"

Omi wasn't sure if Yohji would tell him the details of the whole sordid matter, but he had to ask. He saw Yohji take a deep breath, but as he exhaled, his whole body just seemed to completely deflate. It was as if the shell of Yohji was sitting next to him. The lanky blonde was slouched in his chair, his head resting back against a pillar and his gaze was off to the side, seeing nothing. Yohji looked empty.

"Yohji?"

"Esset. Esset got to him before I could." Yohji swallowed hard, remembering the sight of the green eyes as they slowly closed. _He looked happy_.

Omi hung his head, unable to face the grieving image of his longtime friend. He wasn't sure he could fix this one. He knew how deeply in love Yohji had been with Sai, or rather….Schuldig. He was willing to give up his job and travel the world with him.

"I'm….I'm so sorry, Yohji."

Neither man moved or spoke for several minutes as they both dwelled on the men they had loved and their own inability to protect them. Omi tossed the rest of his drink down his throat and stood up, still not looking at Yohji.

"You know where to find me. I'll always make time for you, you know that."

As Omi started to walk away, he heard Yohji's voice cut through the hazy air.

"I'm going to take off for awhile. Do some traveling."

Omi looked back and met tired green eyes. He smiled, just barely, and nodded.

"Sounds nice. Enjoy yourself and drop me a postcard sometime."

"I will."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Report."

"The subject is dead. Killed by multiple gunshot wounds to the torso. I've included a copy of the death certificate."

"We are most displeased, Crawford."

"I apologize. However, I have a lead on a new telepath. Very promising young lady from England."

"Bring her in immediately."

"As you wish."

Crawford left the office of his superiors and it wasn't until he closed the door firmly behind him that he let his displeasure show. His brows furrowed and his fists clenched at his sides. He had witnessed a funeral yesterday which he had not foreseen. _How did I not see his death? Perhaps the new telepathic blockers affect my powers as well_? _I'll have to get Research on this right away_.

He watched from a distance as a lone figure attended the simple burial. At first his mind couldn't make sense of why a former member of Weiss would be overseeing Schuldig's funeral. But as he contemplated the bizarre situation, he thought back on how they managed to track Schuldig down. _He stayed in one place for too long. Why would he do that unless…._

Crawford's blood boiled even now at the thought of Schuldig and the blonde assassin together. He'd waited so long, used company resources and broke so many rules, just to bring Schuldig back. _But now there's no bringing him back. He's finally escaped me_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Yohji smiled at the beautiful woman behind the counter as she handed him his room key.

"Enjoy your stay, Mr. Kudoh."

"Thank you."

A very tired Yohji began to follow the bellhop to his room, grateful he only had to worry about carrying his own body and not his three bags as well. The bellhop opened the door for him and Yohji walked in, surveying the room. It was done in beige and a pale green, with landscape photographs on the walls. There was a queen sized bed, a chest of drawers, an armoire and a small desk with a chair. The furniture was made of light-colored wood that looked like it could be bamboo and there was deep carpeting.

He half listened to the young man explaining the various amenities and services offered as he made his way over to the French doors that led to the patio and looked out at the view. Eventually he realized the room had gone quiet and he turned, smiling and handing over a very generous tip, just happy to finally be alone.

It had taken him almost two months to get his affairs in order, dealing with closing his business, storing his belongings and deciding what to take with him. He had worked with a travel agent to create an itinerary that would take him to Hawaii, Australia, Thailand and he was going to end it with a cruise of the Mediterranean. Once he had a tour schedule he sat down with Omi and made arrangements for him to handle his mail which shouldn't consist of anything other than credit card bills which the head of Kritiker offered to pay as an interest-free loan to Yohji.

Yohji had immediately become suspicious.

"Why are you so quick to volunteer to pay my bills?"

Omi just shrugged and offered his most innocent of smiles. The pair had been enjoying carryout and drinks in Omi's office for hours because as Yohji so often liked to point out, Omi always got the best service and his sofa was more comfortable than Yohji's own bed.

"You're my dear friend, Yohji, and since I'm in a position to do this for you, let me, ok? It will be one less thing for you to worry about while you're traveling."

Yohji raised a suspicious eyebrow at his younger friend's innocent act, for he knew that's exactly what it was. Sharp green eyes studied the man sitting across from him in the deep leather chair and suddenly it hit him.

"You little sneak."

"What?"

"Very good, chibi. Very good. But you forget who you are dealing with."

Yohji chuckled and sat forward to take a drink.

"Yohji, I don't----"

"I'm going to accept your offer, humbly and gratefully but don't think you've fooled me. You're doing this more to keep an eye on me. By managing my bills you'll see exactly where I am and what I'm doing."

Omi couldn't stop the flush to his cheeks and he opened and closed his mouth twice before hanging his head and chuckling.

"Is it so bad to want to protect you?"

"Not at all." Yohji stood up and leaned over, kissing the top of Omi's head then ruffling his hair for old time's sake. "Thank you, Omi. I don't know what I would ever do without you."

And with that, Yohji walked out of Omi's office, never looking back. He couldn't. He'd always had a weak spot for the youngest of their group and had been aware of his crush for quite some time. He wondered why Omi never acted on his feelings and had convinced himself to ask before leaving. But sitting there in Omi's office, seeing him try to put up a happy front for Yohji, he didn't have the heart. _If I had looked back and saw those big blue eyes gazing at me……_

Back in his hotel room where he still stood looking out at the beach from the doorway to his patio, Yohji chuckled.

"I'm such a sucker for a pair of pretty eyes."

Yohji walked directly onto the beach from his patio and started to slowly wander down the scarcely populated private beach. The sound of the crashing waves and the warm breeze that seemed to caress every inch of his body acted as a balm for his weary soul. As the sun slowly set he gazed out over the glistening water and let the wind take his melancholy words.

"You would have loved it here."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Yohji had been in Hawaii for a week and was starting to think his idea to continue on with he and Schuldig's plan to travel was a bad idea. He knew Omi hadn't agreed with his decision to continue with the trip without Schuldig but in his heart he knew it was the right decision. After everything was said and done, Yohji had loved Schuldig with all his heart and he wanted to honor that love.

_I don't know if I'll ever find someone like you again and I don't know if I want to. I doubt I could handle having that kind of love taken away from me again._

Yohji smiled at a group of young girls as they passed by, tilting his head down just enough so they could see his eyes. The sound of girlish laughter could be heard and a bittersweet pang ripped through Yohji's heart as he recalled fond memories of working in a flower shop where girls like that were a daily pleasure.

_So many years ago….._

He was scheduled to be in Hawaii for another six days and so he planned to take a step back from the touristy attractions and just head into town to wander. He was always able to find some friendly people to do things with like snorkeling or helicopter rides over volcanoes, but his heart would still ache as he thought about Schuldig and how he wished he could share the adventure with him.

As he continued down the quiet street he looked around for a place to eat. It was that time of day when the sun was going down and the streetlamps were just starting to glow. He read the many signs along the street advertising every manner of cuisine possible and as he made his way towards a green neon sign promising authentic Japanese food, the sound of music caught his ear. He stopped a few feet from the restaurant's entrance and listened closely as the street noise of people and cars was making it difficult to determine if he imagined the noise or not. Eventually he did catch the sound of a saxophone drifting on the warm breeze and he followed it around the corner to discover a small jazz club called _The Cat's Eye_.

He stood outside a few minutes and just stared at the sign which had the wickedest looking black cat Yohji had ever seen gesturing with one paw as if beckoning its prey into its den.

"_Why do I suddenly feel like the canary about to be swallowed by the cat?"_

"_I came here to ask for a date….We can go to that little jazz club that you like."_

Yohji felt the lump forming in his throat as echoes filled his head and broke his heart all over again.

"Let's have that date, Schuldig."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The interior of the jazz club looked a lot more welcoming than its mascot with soft lighting, mostly in the form of candles and worn but cushiony chairs strewn about with tables interspersed. The dark cherry bar, which spanned the entire length of the club, looked newer than anything in the room with its polished shine. But again the stools looked aged with their dull shine and worn padding.

Yohji made his way to the bar and an old native woman with long white hair tied back and a body almost too round to fit behind the bar made her way over to him and offered a welcoming smile.

"Whiskey please."

She nodded and Yohji turned back to look out into the small club again. The walls were mostly bare and he could see wallpaper peeling in a few spots. The stage, which was the most illuminated part of the club, currently had a saxophone player and a piano player. There were five people in the audience with another four at the bar. The sound of a drink being placed in front of him grabbed his attention and he turned around, raising his glass to the bartender in thanks before drinking.

Letting the amber liquid burn down his throat Yohji hung his head, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass as he stared at it, transfixed. He lost himself in his memories, good and bad, of Schuldig as a mournful tune filled the air, making it thicker than it already was from the smoke and humidity. On the verge of blinking back tears, Yohji lifted his head and threw the rest of his drink down his throat.

"It hurts too much."

"Then maybe you shouldn't do that."

Yohji didn't see anyone in front of him or to either side so he slowly spun around to come face to face with a brilliant smile. The man looked younger than him and was the epitome of a surfer: tan skin, sun-kissed blonde hair that fell to his shoulders in waves and eyes as blue as the ocean. He was wearing a pair of sandals, gauzy-looking pants and a t-shirt that fit his well-muscled body perfectly and advertised the club with the picture of the cat on the front.

"I'll try to keep that in mind. Thanks."

The smile was downgraded to a smirk but Yohji didn't mind because he actually preferred the playful smirk.

"Mind if I join you?"

"At your own risk. I'm afraid I'm not very good company right now."

The young man sat down next to Yohji and a bottle of beer instantly appeared.

"I think I'll risk it."

Yohji swung back around and just as he was about to flag the bartender down for another drink, he realized he already had a fresh drink in front of him. _Wow. She's good_.

"You're a tourist, right?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Local."

Yohji took a sip of his drink and just stared forward. He wasn't trying to be coy when he said he wasn't good company. He had come into the club to get a sense of closure by going on his "date" with Schuldig. He needed to start purging himself of his heartache before he drowned in it.

"You look lost."

Yohji scoffed and turned to face the young man. Gone was the playful smirk, replaced with a pouting mouth and concerned eyes. He opened his mouth to give a sarcastic reply, but then closed it, deciding he really didn't want to say anything. Yohji sighed and turned back to stare down at his drink.

He felt bad for making the smile of the young man next to him fade but it couldn't be helped. _Maybe…..maybe it's me who can't be helped this time. I shouldn't have left Japan. I should have stayed and let Omi take care of me for awhile. I shouldn't be alone right now_.

_**You're not alone, katzchen.**_

Yohji's eyes went wide enough that they hurt and he stared ahead unseeing. _Did I just hear…? Have I finally lost my mind to grief_?

"Schu…?"

He was unaware of the young surfer next to him looking increasingly worried or the hand that was now upon his shoulder and gently shaking him. But then slowly he started hearing a voice.

"Hey, are you ok? Can I get you something? Hey, blink or something will ya?"

Yohji turned his face up to the worried blonde and blinked a few times to moisten his burning eyes.

"I…..I'm sorry. I just…."

"You scared me is what you did."

He watched the surfer lean in and study him, undoubtedly making sure he was really alright. And all Yohji could do was stare back at him. The blonde hair looked soft, not damaged from weather as he would expect_. I wonder if he'll freak out if I….?_

Without realizing what he was doing Yohji reached out and ran his fingers through the blonde hair and marveled at the silky softness. A soft chuckle broke his trance and he focused on the face before him and saw deep green eyes smiling at him. _Oh gods, his eyes…..I never thought I'd see a pair of eyes like that again. So open and honest in their desire as they pull you in…._

Suddenly Yohji sat up with a jolt and looked at the amused young man in fear.

"Y-your eyes."

"My eyes?"

As the young man leaned in further, Yohji's body tensed to the point of being painful.

"They're green."

The smile widened and Yohji shivered.

"Do you not like green eyes? You have green eyes."

"They were blue when you sat down!"

Yohji was on his feet and he backed up a few paces, looking for the exit. But as his eyes scanned for the entrance he noticed something very peculiar. Nobody in the club seemed to be taking notice of him. He looked at the bar patrons and no one flinched. The audience was raptly listening to the music. _It's as if I don't exist_.

"Technically you're correct."

The sound of the calm voice snagged his attention and he looked at the figure still sitting at the bar, elbow resting on the bar, head tilted slightly as it rested in his palm.

"Who….are you?"

"I'm whoever you want me to be."

The quiet voice seemed to penetrate his very soul and all the tension seeped from his body leaving him feeling lighter than he had in months and a sense of calm, contentment filled him.

_**You're not alone, katzchen.**_

In hesitant steps Yohji approached the bar again and sat down. _Are you guiding me, Schu? Are you trying to tell me something_? Yohji just stared in wonder at the blonde next to him who regarded him with mild amusement.

"What's your name?"

"Yohji."

The surfer got a dreamy smile on his face and seemed to go somewhere else for a moment before focusing his green eyes back on Yohji.

"So what brings you here, Yohji?"

Yohji's stomach fluttered and he couldn't stop his lips from curving at the corners_. Is this sense of déjà vu a sign? Should I do it_? He felt a bundle of nervous excitement building within him as he answered the blonde's question.

"You." Yohji heart raced to see rosy cheeks as the young man chuckled softly. _I must be truly crazy for thinking this. But I have to try, I have to know. Is it possible? Ok, here goes everything_. "I thought you might be hungry."

Green eyes flashed as the young man stood up and stepped into Yohji, bringing them so close the tips of their noses touched.

"I'm positively starving."

_**You're not alone, katzchen.**_

**The End.**


End file.
